) with only a day break in between.Before when I did the DVD's I'd be incapable of doing much of anything except maybe walk, and that was if I was lucky. I'd normally need 2 to 3 days just to recover because I would be in so much pain even sitting on the damn toilet was an issue.
I mean really...have you ever worked out so hard that the muscles you use to just sit on the damn toilet don't work right anymore. I'd spend at least a day after exercising, falling onto the toilet every time I needed to pee. Not exactly fun...
These DVD's make me use muscles I didn't even know I had, that is until the next day when they're screaming, but what keeps me torturing myself is not a deep seeded masochistic tenancy, but that I'm beginning to see amazing results.
Besides the obvious stamina I've developed, I can see the changes in my body. My ass is melting away, my tummy (especially the lower portion) is disappearing, my arms are getting smaller as are my thighs (which have quite a ways to go), and my face has changed. But the biggest change is the increase in wardrobe.
Now I'm not talking about going out and buying shit (cause I hate shopping...most fat people do) but because stuff I couldn't fit into before, I can fit into again. I went from 1 pair of jeans, to 2, now I can fit (though tightly) into 4 pairs of my old jeans...That was a big hallelujah moment for me cause I don't have any money for clothes, or anything else for that matter.
Granted, these changes are not due to exercise alone. I have changed my diet and am eating healthy whenever I can, but I'm not on "a diet". I'm not eating just salad or organic non processed foods (though I am trying to incorporate more of those into my diet), but I'm using my common sense. I may want the cheeseburger, but the chicken sandwich is a better bet, or I can have a fried chicken wing or two if I make sure to have a heaping of steamed vegetable as my side. I also make sure to eat the healthy stuff first so when I get to the not so healthy stuff, my stomach is already mostly full. I guess you can say I've finally crossed over from wanting to change my life, to actually doing it (**knock on wood**)
Now the question becomes...
Will I loose enough by Auguest 20th to be happy with the way I look in the wedding photos?
Probably not...but I kinda don't care as much anymore.
I realized what I'm doing is more important for the long term then it is for any short term benefits I might get, which is why I'm trying to do this the right way. I've always wondered what my life would be like if I were skinny, but now I wonder what my life is going to be like when I'm finally (mostly) healthy. I know some of my health problems aren't just going to go away once I'm fit (like my Fibromyalgia, my Endometriosis, or being short), but being fit is going to help me get a handle on those issues and that's really all I want at this point.
Now I did the calculations and I will be PMSing for the wedding (OH JOY!!) so all this Zen shit about my weight and not really caring might go out the fucking window on that most anticipated day, but I can only worry about that when it happens, and possibly buy some strong muscle relaxers now...LOL
(Photo of Renée Zellweger as Bridget Jones by Bridget_Jones_photos courtesy of Photobucket and directly linked)
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