I also posted another blog before this update which is a bit backward, but if I did anything normal I wouldn't be me...:)
So here's the long and short of it....
I finished my classes, finished my internship with Community Impact, started and finished some advanced computer classes, registered for college in the spring, started seeing my ex again, am stressing over waiting for my college acceptance/rejection letters, have NOT worked out the way I should, have NOT had time to continue my story, and yet I am rather content.
My biggest issues at the moment are trying to find time to work out, trying not to rush things with the ex, finding another job, staying on my path, and at the same time trying not to obsess over which school I will go to. I need to find out already so I can fully freak the fuck out the way my body needs to.
My 30th birthday came and went uneventfully, which I thought I'd be more upset about, but I never did anything big on any of my big birthdays (18/21) and when I did, it was just unnecessary stress. I'll probably end up going all out on my 31st as if it were my 30th for two reasons. 1. because I can, and 2. because if I can celebrate it, that means the world didn't end in an apocalyptic shit storm of fire, blood, and water...now frankly that's something to celebrate...lol
I'm bummed I didn't go to the beach this summer. I didn't get my fix of sun, salt, and waves, but on the upside I look forward to going to college so I can use the swimming pool. To get my water fix while working out sounds pretty darn wonderful to me...but unfortunately that wont be till the spring semester of 2012 which means I'll be jonesing till then...
I didn't even use my aunts pool more then twice which is REALLY bad...
Now some of you may say: "Why are you bitching about that?""
Well first I say...I didn't bitch so rein in the attitude....and second...if you knew me and my connection to the ocean, water and swimming, you'd understand why. I've never felt more alive or free as I do when I swim. As a kid I'd stay in the water all day, watching my skin prune and not caring. I was and always will be a daughter of the ocean. I'm actually surprised I wasn't born a tail and gills.
My ex...(well can't call him that anymore)... and I have been seeing each other for over 6 months now and this may sound sad but this is the longest relationship I've ever had. I don't have a long dating history (you can count it on one hand) but from my few experiences I don't force a relationship when I can see it isn't going anywhere. That thought process has saved me from having bad emotionally scaring breakups, so this is a completely new experience for me.
It's scary cause I truly don't know what to expect and I'm learning as I go.
We have had our emotional ups and downs but that's par for the course. I've been on my own for so long that I didn't realize how much work it would be to be with someone. Besides the tiring grooming that is required when dating, I'm a bit of a hermit, a loner, and when your with someone certain aspects of your life change while other things that you never payed attention to have a spot light put on them. Simple things like talking to him everyday. If I don't hear his voice at least once, the day doesn't feel right. Also being considerate to his feeling when it comes to certain things. I may still be single but I'm not unattached so that puts a certain filter on how I communicate with other people (especially men).
So that's it in a nutshell folks....but I gotta say...this whole dating thing is weird...yet at the same time extremely satisfying :-)
Photo provided by Photobucket, gianaloveronnie, and is directly linked
