Leashes For Your Tot: The Hottest Parenting Accessory for the Fashion Forward...

Now I know this isn't a new phenomenon.
I saw my first child leash about 10 years ago, but they were fairly new and hardly seen outside of a backwater mall, but now things have changed.
Yesterday alone I saw 2 different upper/middle class Manhattanites "walking" there kids, and I have this funny feeling, as the weather gets warmer, I'll be seeing more of this.

When did this become a necessary tool in parenting??

I mean...I know as a society we have become isolated, antisocial, germaphobes, but has it really come down to not wanting to touch our own children anymore!

The original leash was called "A Hand".
Very simple tool to use, they come in pairs, and they're free of charge.

Slowly the art of parenting (and it is an art) is dieing away. Nobody wants to do the work required.
It started with parents using television to babysit their children when they wanted alone time. Then family dinners when out the window. Discipline took a nose dive, and now the only communication most parents have with their children is through a text message.
Then people wonder why blow jobs, STD's, and pregnancy are becoming more common in grade school.
Hell... there's even a popular teen drama on television about a pregnant 16 year old!!

But I digress...lol...
let me get back to my point...

Is it really necessary to leash your children?

I mean...are we so busy that we can't keep an eye on our kids?
Are our hands too busy with that blackberry or iPad to keep them in hand?
or is it a matter of simple discipline....
Maybe we are finally seeing the consequences of replacing punishments with "Time Outs" and sending our children to there rooms where they have every possible convenience to pass the time.

When my mother told me to stay close, I stayed close cause I knew the consequences of doing otherwise. I was never allowed to run rampant or throw temper tantrums because it just wasn't allowed. Even my 80 year old grandma kept me in her kung-fu grip anytime we went out, and trust me, she was a little old lady, but not even the jaws of life could remove her hand from mine.

Children can be taught to not to run off into traffic if you take the time to actually talk and teach them.
Children are trainable....

Where has that gone?

People are so worried about what other people think. Over analyzing every single thing we do, we've reduced our children to dogs...

I'm Surrounded by Poop Throwing Monkeys!!!!

(a rant from my phone)

Why is it nothing ever gets fixed around here?

I have to blog from my cell because not only is our cable down, but so is our phone line...again
We've called the phone company many times since February to fix this issue and IT'S APRIL!!!
Guy comes by, says it a problem with the line in the basement, says they're gonna fix it, then a little rain and we're back at square 1.
Before, the line would only go out during bad weather, but today it's sunny, so WTF!

Why does this keep happening u might ask?
Because most of the people who are sent here to fix ANYTHING are freaken MONKEYS!

Now when I say Monkeys, I don't mean it in a racial way. This term is used to describe so called "fix it"people who wouldn't know there ass from there elbow (actually...it might be offensive to Monkeys ;)
I first heard this term used by my irate uncle when I was around 10 years old.
He had picked me up from school and when we got home the house was full of recently dead, smoking electronics.
I (having asthma) was immediately sent to sit on the fire escape, while he went scrambling to unplug everything. Phone calls were exchanged between various parties, including my mother and the Columbia U building office, and then, in through our door come the culprits, the building manager, the super, and the workers who had caused the power serge. Lined up in single file down my hall they stood, men of all different nationalities, and I watched as my quiet uncle, laid into them.
All kinds of curses flew of his mouth as he paced the length of the living room shouting about safety. How this building could have burned down, how I could have been hurt, all cause they had "monkeys" working in the basement.

U could have heard a pin drop...

He said it many times, completely unaware, and each time I had to look away. I was cracking up.

After they finally left with assurances that they will take care of any and all damages, he turned to me with a worried expression and asked
"U don't think they thought I meant it racially do u?"
I never laughed so hard in my life...

So to this day, whenever another thing goes wrong because it wasn't fixed properly in the first place, or because the guy who's fixing it is more experienced at picking his ass then actually doing his job, I may get mad, but then that day with my uncle comes flashing into my head and I smile, because I realize I AM dealing with Monkeys...lol

The Gods Have Been Kind and Ended My Suffering....

Right now I'm sitting on my aunts deck this beautiful Easter Sunday, warmed by the sun, surrounded by the rich smells of cooking foods, and swaying to LaCongaRadio playing from my inferior lap top speakers, but happy non the less. 
I couldn't have asked for a better Easter this year, but this week has been one of the best I've had in a very long time....

It didn't start great. I was having a lot of pain with my running program on Monday, afraid I was beginning to hit the limits of what my body could handle, but after a few changes to my stretching routine, by Wednesday I was back in tip top running shape.
But it was Thursday that made what would have been just a good week, great.

I Found The Dress!!
The dress I'm going to wear to my aunts August wedding...

Now you have to understand, I HATE shopping. I've hatted it ever since my budding bosoms first exploded out of my petite chest. So the last thing I was looking forward to was running all over NY and NJ in search of a fancy dress for this wedding, but it was a necessary evil I did for the beautiful person that is my aunt.

I mentioned to my aunt seeing a "one size fits all" wrap bridesmaid dress on a show called My Fair Wedding that can be worn 10 different ways, and that I thought would be perfect for me. One particular style of wrapping it had caught my eye because it covered some of the upper arm (my problem area).
So intrigued by the idea, we re-watched the show, Googled the name, and found out that the dress was made by Twobirds Bridesmaid. After seeing the dresses on the web sight, neither my aunt nor my mother were quite convinced that it would work, but I was persistent. Since my aunt wanted to make me happy, she made an appointment for us to go and because she was being so reasonable, I agreed to go with them to other dress stores with an open mind, just in case. 
But to tell the truth, seeing that dress gave me the kind of feeling in my chest that I only get when I know something is meant to be....

Due to over scheduling, we had to cancel our appointment, but I being the efficient person that I am, thought ahead, made a few calls, then made the appointment myself on the day I knew for sure everyone was free. That day being this past Thursday...

The moment we got there I was confused....
We were standing in front of an average residential apartment building. No signs or any indication whatsoever that my dream dress lay inside. At first I didn't even know if we were in the right place, until I rechecked the address, then the buzzers inside the lobby, and low and behold, there it was. 
The designer works out of her former village apartment, so when we finally entered her small first floor, 1 bedroom apartment, it felt odd because it felt like I was entering a strangers home. 
The first room you walk into is a very nice, small, simple living room with a fireplace, a couch, a coffee table, and some show dresses on display. Between the 3 of us and the designer, it seemed a bit uncomfortably intimate, but that might just have been me....
After we explained why we were there and who was to be the ginny pig (yours truly), she took us through a tiny hallway/kitchen that opened up into what once had to have been a bedroom that she converted into her office/workspace. 
She pointed out some knotted dresses she had, asking about color and length and once we chose, we went back to the living room where she showed me to a little dressing room behind the couch that I hadn't noticed on entering. She explained which way to put on the dress, then left me to try and squeeze my big bazookas past the waist of the dress in private. But once that difficult part was over, it felt wonderful. I left it unwrapped but draped over the shoulders as instructed so that I could go back to the living room/display area and be wrapped and unwrapped for the "bride to be's" pleasure...
Needless to say both my aunt and mother were flabbergasted at how great this dress looked on me. Each time the designer changed the style it looked better, until finally I mentioned the style I had come all the way there to see. 
The moment she finished tying me into my style, I knew I had won. They were both speechless...
I looked Phenomenal!!!

My mother started laughing and all my aunt could do was smile and shake her head at me. Once again I was right....
All that was left was deciding on a length and making the purchase. 
We chose long because it was more versatile and my aunt paid for it, claiming in was an investment dress we could all take turns wearing...lol

It all took no more then 30 mins....
Why?
Because that's how I roll. If you do your homework beforehand, shopping can be a sniper like experience, and that's the only kind of shopping I can endure....lol

So now I can sit back, relax and enjoy Easter with my family the right way, without the anxiety of finding the perfect dress. Just yard work, Glazed Ham, Carrot slaw, potato salad, and the sun on my face...

All that's left... is what has yet to come....