When it Rains it Pours...and it Seems the Same goes for Ex's...

This is gonna be a quick post...

Why is it when a guy shows intrest, it sends out a bat signal to all your ex's telling them now's a good time to call??

No I'm not posting anything anywhere that would make said ex's curious and actually half of them don't even do the social networking thing (which is strange now a days).
Hell...some I haven't heard from in months if not years, yet all of a sudden they ALL contact me within days of each other.
If I were more of a paranoid person 'd be freaking the fuck out right now....lol

So yea...is there some secret network out there that alarms your ex's when your moving on with your life?

Oh and my mother made the joke that if it were a bat signal it would be in Asian characters since 90% of my ex's are of Asian decent.
Ain't my family a hoot...LOL!

 (Photo from Photobucket, by kristyellenx3 and is directly linked)

Free Floating and Feeling Strange....

I gotta say I feel weird...

After all that work and worry I feel strange. Almost too light like I forgot something. You know that feeling you get when you get used to carrying a heavy load, then one day go out without it. You feel super light, and it feels good, but you keep getting that nagging feeling like you forgot something....
That's where I am now.

I finally got my results... my GPA is about a 3.6 which is good for getting into college. But now I'm kinda overwhelmed about my next step. I wasn't mentally prepared to pass my test so fast, and now I have to think about which college I want to go to, community or private, signing up for scholarships, and finally getting a job with health insurance.

I don't even know where to begin....

Because of all this I woke up this morning with a cluster headache, and I've chewed the living shit out of my fingers (three nails down).
I know once things are settled and I'm back in school I'll be myself again, but where the hell do I start...
fuck...

(Photo from Photobucket by funfreak2 and is directly linked)

YATTA!!!!!!

It’s been waaay too long since the last time I wrote, but with good reason. These last few months have been the craziest months of my life….a re-birthing if you will.

My brain feels unhinged from my spine and scalp. As if floating in my skull, free from gravity’s bonds. I’ve felt this way since April 11th when I took the first part of my big test. 

After running to the testing center (which was given at public school) with seconds to spare I took part 1 of my test and afterward I felt as if I was having some sort of aneurysm or stroke, but then I realized I had over-taxed my brain numb….lol

The test was broken into two parts which I took Monday and Wednesday, missing class to do so. I still went to class on Tuesday though I was a zombie the entire time and to top it all off I had finals that week so since I missed class Wednesday, I had to take two parts of my finals on Thursday, and my Math Lab final was on Friday. So to sum up, I took a test every day that week except Tuesday. 

Fucking crazy right??

Well it all paid off…cause today I found out I passed my BIG test!!!!

I couldn’t believe it. Since I took the test I’ve been going to the status report website, putting in my info and crossing my fingers, but it was still too early. They said it would take 8 weeks before I found out if I passed or not, but when I spoke to others who had already taken the test they said most of the time it gets posted sooner than that. 

So today was the first day I wasn’t thinking about checking. I was too busy with my head in the toilet, vomiting my guts out, trying not to think about the burning in my nose and throat. I haven’t thrown up in a long time, if I got ill the most that would happen would be nausea or heaves, but today it was different. I missed work, and even missed school which says a lot since today is my favorite subject (math). I was even running a low grade fever, and still am.

I was feeling a bit better after risking dinner, so I decided to go online and check my email. While I was online is when I remembered to check for my score, but didn’t expect to find anything. I was shocked, by my information being there, by the fact that I had passed when I was sure I failed, and by my reaction as well because I started crying.

I couldn’t help it. All the years of feeling less then, of feeling inadequate, of fighting for everything, came to a head and I just broke down. I had done it, finally after all these years, I had passed.

Now I can look towards my future with a true sense of hope…