When I arrived I noticed the tables all laid out with little booklets. Within these booklets were the works of different students, and to my surprise I found my name.
They had published the essay I had written to the PM coordinator!...
Yep...You know I freaked out a bit.
I mean...my work...out their to be judged by others....yeesh...talk about stomach upset, but yet... there it was...a tiny part of me printed in black & white and that made me kinda proud.
It wasn't till later when they asked the authors to read there work out loud that I got into trouble.
I was perfectly happy sitting there, letting other people read there work. I had NO intention of standing in front of a podium and reading my very personal words to a room of mostly strangers. I hated the spotlight... it always made me nervous...and though my classmates were poking me to go up there and even my teachers were asking if I was going to read, I was confident in fact that there was no way in hell I was going on stage, but that all went out the window when the lead speaker was asking for more volunteers and the "boys" decided to volunteer me.
I'm just sitting there, minding my own business, playing with my phone, when I hear
"Hay!!...She'll do it!!" "Yea...we got one here...She'll read".
Frozen, I pretended I didn't know what was going on, that was until I herd the guys who I thought were my friends chant my name. I look up and there they are, their fingers pointing at me in front of smiling devious faces.
The whole room was looking at me.
So even though I wanted to scream I bravely smiled back at everyone, shaking my head no. Then the lead speaker joined in with the calling of my name as did others in the crowd, so I covered my face with the booklet, but they wouldn't stop.
Finally out of desperation and not knowing what to do, I mimed that I had lost my voice, cupping my throat and looking up at the ceiling (yes...I mimed), but people just laughed. Score one for being funny... but it was too late, yet... for a split second.... I still thought about slipping under the table and pretending to be invisible, or pretending I had Touretts and yell out profanities...
No one would make someone like that read...right??
The guys had worked up the room and I was hearing my name everywhere.
Finally one of them actually got up and pulled me out of my chair. I tried to make my ass stick to the chair like glue, tried desperately to make gravity my friend and pretend I had the mass of the moon holding me down, but to no avail. The moment he dragged me to my feet, I had no choice.
With teeth clenched and my eyes blind to anything but the podium I marched up to the stage. I walked for what seemed like forever but as I passed "the boys" I loudly proclaimed that I was going to kill them.
Not the best move on my part considering the amount of legal witnesses who snickered at my outburst...lol...but this is what I get for being the only female friend in a group if guys.
Finally standing before the podium, I thought my head was going to explode with every new heart pound. But steeling myself as best as I could, I sucked in a breath and picked up the mic.
My piece was long and I told everyone if they wanted to nap, now was the time. That got a few laughs which helped me relax a bit.
It was easy at first. I found my rhythm and I could hear people responding to my work with hushed comments. I believe I spoke clearly even though every p and b uttered into the mic sounded like muffled gunfire.
Then as time wore on, my mouth became dry and sticky as I realized my piece dithered on a bit.
Ok...not a bit.....a LOT.
I was bored reading my own work! and realizing this, my nerves began to beat me from the inside out.
But as I'm reading, willing myself to get to the end I notice that the last few paragraphs seem different. That's when I realize it's because those aren't supposed to be the last paragraphs...the rest of my work is missing!!
I completely panic...
I didn't know what to do or say... but luckily my self preservation instinct kicked in and making a joke of it, I tell everyone the rest of my work isn't printed, and I gratefully end my torture in friendly yet awkward applause.
It wasn't till that moment, the moment I was standing there thanking the head speaker for allowing me the opportunity to completely embarrass myself, that I saw it...
The rest of my freaken essay was on the next page!!
and I made the mistake of saying it out loud.....ugg God!
So now I got some people yelling for me to finish, while the head speaker is trying to nicely shoo me off the stage. So I take his cue, and shimmy my completely embarrassed ass off stage as fast as I could.
Sure, all the boys gave me high fives as I passed them back to my seat and sure, they said I did great, but what else are they gonna say. It was the least they could do after dragging my ass over there. I wanted to bury my head in the sand.
It was printed. I hadn't seen it in my panic and my need to finish, but it was there...staring at me...laughing at me from it's comfy little page.
Granted it was printed as if it were a completely different piece, with a artfully black and white picture above it, and yes...part of it was in italic for no discernible reason, so I had plenty of good reasons for why I didn't notice it....but all those little reasons didn't matter.
I left the stage feeling like a complete idiot. The main point of my verbal diarrhea got left untold, so it ended up sounding like long ass list of crap I did in Cancun. I sounded like a self righteous egotistical moron.
What a waste...
I found the courage to read, to stand tall in my own personal version of hell, only to be thwarted by my own work...lol
Oh well...at least I can say did it. Yes...I will probably worry about what people thought. Hell I'm doing it right now, but maybe everyone will have some sort of short term memory loss...lol
After my debacle, they handed out the completion certificates, and the student awards. My name was called for my certificate and to my surprise it was called again for an award...
I was awarded the "Best Overall Student Award"...so you know that settled it...
I am now...officially to everyone there, a COMPLETE Dork...and a self important kiss ass...
Oh Boy!!...but it does go to show...no matter what age you are when your in school...mortification is still the name of the game...lol
(Picture above of the last two pages of my essay/story and how it was printed...)
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