I had to send a "Dear John" letter to Geekcano.
I hate ending things in an email...like some coward...but he didn't give me any other choice...
I just couldn't deal with it anymore.
Not only was he sabotaging his schooling and for lack of a better word "dropped out" of the program (though he kept saying he's going to go back and do better...right...), he was also acting like a 16 year old.
As it was, I wasn't seeing him because he wasn't coming to class, but then on the last day, the day of the awards ceremony, I find out his phone had been turned off.
Ok...no big deal but he didn't bother giving me a heads up on that until after I sent a tun of texts and finally a worried email. If I hadn't had his email address I wouldn't have been able to contact him at all.
Then after all that, I go a whole weekend without hearing from him, even though he said he'd be checking his email so we could keep in touch. It was like all of a sudden he went from practically harassing me to not caring enough to check an email. If your busy then fine, tell me, but leaving me in the dark...yet again...come on...I don't even do that to people who are my friends. Then finally on Monday I get a email from him like nothing happened telling me he wants me to come over...Talk about the straw that broke the camels back.
That was it. I'd had enough.
I don't know much about relationships...but this smells all too much like a game and I HATE games.
In case you don't know what I mean...it's the kinda games where you wait 3 days before calling someone so they think your not interested then when u do call they'll be all eager to please...that kinda shit...
I hated that stuff when I was a teenager and even more now that I'm an adult. It's a immature and stupid way to start a relationship with someone.
One second this guy is making me feel like I'm the best thing that's ever happened to him, and then the next I feel like he doesn't really care about me at all. I realized the only time he bothered talking to me was when he wanted something.
I mean fuck...he didn't even show concern over me traveling late. He was only concerned when I was going out, then all of a sudden he wanted to know the who, what, where, and when.
The messed up part is that he's a nice guy. He really does have an innocence to him and a lot of the qualities I'm looking for, but unfortunately he's just too immature for me.
I hate that I might have hurt him, but I just couldn't stay in it anymore.
There were plenty of superficial reasons for me to stay with him. He's good looking, sexy, could have taken me places, shown me new things, I could have had a date for New Years (which would have been a first...lol) and I wouldn't have the drama next semester that I'm now gonna have when I get back to school.
But all of this shit isn't important. What mattered was that I was going through an emotional roller coaster with him and I wasn't happy.
I can't stand woman who play games and men even less. Maybe that's why most of the guys I've dated have been honest to a fault.
Granted... it isn't easy dating an honest guy, especially when they say something that you really don't want to hear...but if you find one that can balance honesty with compasion, it's one of the best things in the world.
I don't know...maybe he was sabotaging his thing with me just like he was with his schooling, so he wouldn't have to make a choice. I knew he was still hung up on his ex, so maybe he wasn't ready to move on but wanted his cake too...
Whatever the reason, I guess I'm gonna have to keep looking, cause unless this guys grows up, he ain't it...
(Photo by Photobucket and directly linked...just something I found beautiful yet dark)
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