I'm tired but I got to get this shit off my chest.
I met this dude at school...already blogged about him, but he's got an annoying habit that I'm not going to be able to handle much longer...
He's a guilt tripper...
Yes...that thing that women (mothers in particular) are notorious for, except in my world the men are the kings of this ancient art of manipulation.
Why me??
What the hell did I do to deserve this crap??
Every time I get on the phone with this guy, he wants me to come over. He will start the sentence off with "I don't mean to be selfish" which indicates exactly what he's about to do, then tries to guilt me into coming over to his house.
At first he'll start with how he misses seeing me, misses hanging with me, then he'll try the "you must not like me the way I like you otherwise you'd be here"...I mean really?? Is he for real??...lol
On Thanksgiving, his family doesn't do anything, but I told him mine does and that I'd be very busy.
Ok...to any sane person that means I can't talk. Him calling once would have been fine, but he called me three, or four times, and again he kept trying to get me to come over to his house after I finished with my family. WTH!...Even when I did get home at 1am he wanted me to come over.
Dude doesn't care that I'm tired, or that it's late and it's not exactly safe for a woman to be riding the trains at 1am... No... he wants me to come over. He acts like a flipping 5 year old!
Now recently he got sick and has been home. Now I know what it's like being sick, hell I can write a book on sick, and he may actually be sick, but he ain't dying...
Still he's staying home from work, and missing school, so he's bored. What do you think happens when I call him to see how he is?
Boom, the question again..."Mami come over...I miss you... I need you"...HA!
Now let me explain something. I am a naturally empathetic person. I feel for people, even those I don't know, but the moment you try to guilt me into doing something you want, any compassion I had for you flips to annoyed anger in a second.
I don't like being manipulated.
My father (with whom I have a strained relationship as is) likes to use guilt, saying I don't call him enough. But one of the reasons I don't call him is because he tries to guilt me into doing it.
The quickest way to get me to do the opposite of what you want, is to manipulate me into doing it.
Plain and simple...
I will help you out, I will go out of my way to do something for you if you really need me. But if your being selfish don't fucking try this shit on me...just pisses me off.
Funny thing is, I was planning on seeing him this week before going to class, just to make sure he was ok. But every time I talk to him, he tries to guilt me and it just pisses me off so I stay home. Last thing I want is for him to think that shit works, otherwise I'll never get him to stop.
I don't know about the other women this guy dated, whether his tactics worked on them, whether he's used to being catered to, and I'm being told his behavior may be partially a cultural thing, but if this guy really wants to date me...he needs to take a crash course in Me 101 (deal breakers) cause there are just somethings that I'm NOT ok with...
(Photo by jtvlove, Photobucket and is directly linked)
Cultural thing? Think so?
ReplyDeleteI don't know...
ReplyDeleteIt seems many men in my culture, especially mama's boys, like there women to baby them. The guilt thing could be like a wining thing...
This is all new territory for me (as you know...lol)... so I have no clue which way's up. But I can't stand guilt, and/or wining, so we'll have to see how this thing plays out...