My March Madness!!: Dragged Home by the Moon...

I can't write much...waay to tired...but I'll give a quick rundown of what's been going on...

Not only am I going to school full time, but now I am working with an accountant helping to audit buildings for tax season.

How did I get broken-in to this new exciting world of auditing?...(you ask)...
By auditing one of the richest men in NYC...
Now I wont say who, because the power this man has scares the living crap out of me, and my paranoia is keeping me cautious, but think TV show where B list celebrities compete for charity, he owns towering building all over Manhattan, and has that famous hair that hasn't changed in over 30 years...

If the hair thing didn't clue you in then I don't know what will...lol

As for me...this will probably be the only blog I post for the month as March is Midterm month and I'm up to my eyeballs in textbooks, notes, PowerPoint lectures, and a veritable mountain of stress...


Oh and let me not forget to mention how I started off this month of nail biting, soda drinking, laptop back breaking, candy eating, suit wearing madness...
Going through my friends list on Facebook, I discovered that my Ex had reactivated his old account and since Valentines day had full access to everything on my page and everything I posted....
I can't tell you how much that hurt. 
To find out he had been watching/reading everything and never said a word. To know that he's curious but not enough to actually talk to me. It was like my newly scabbed up tear in my heart had cracked open and I literally felt a throbbing weight in my chest. I quickly rectified the situation, somewhat doubting that he even knew about it. That maybe he wasn't checking my page the way I thought he was, that was until I got a friend request from him that quickly got deleted less then 24 hours after I un-friending him. 
Now I knew he was checking my page and I knew he was doing it often, or that friend request was one hell of a coincidence, so I had to find out why...I deserved that much after the privacy violation.
So though I didn't want to, I emailed him asking him that very question...Why??
He apologized and sort of explained...but when you don't even know your own motivations, how can you explain them to anyone else. 
I was polite, but that's about it. I didn't want to get engaged in a conversation, because of how easily I can get sucked in, so I kept things short, semi-friendly, and cut it off. 
It still bothers me, but luckily I don't have much time to think about that shit anymore.


I'm moving on...

(picture above of a really HUGE Full Moon that greeted me after my last class of the night)

30 and in COLLEGE: My First Full Week(worries)....plus other junk...

As I type this I am sitting in my aunts basement freezing my tits off, open schoolbooks, notebook, and laptop surrounding me, pen tucked behind my ear, highlighter clenched in my teeth, but I'm also using what little energy I have left not to kill my uncle who is currently singing karaoke Christian POP at the top of his lungs....

Needless to say, my somewhat noise-canceling earphones are in my ears utilizing a white noise app that I found which is currently flooding my eardrums with the soothing sound of rain and thunder, so at least I can getaway from the madness somewhat.

As you can imagine from the above, I'm a bit on edge...but it's not just because I'm trapped in an ironically cold HELL full of bad christian music, it's not because my cousin is once again being a selfish ungrateful douchebag and has disappeared with my aunts van uncaring of her need to use it today or our need to use it tonight to get home, nor is it because I'm having a pretty bad pain flare up and I'm on the rag, but because I'm exhausted after my first full week of school and scared I wont make it.

I didn't expect it to be easy, but after the first week, I wont lie, I'm fearful that I've gone over my head and that I'm doing too much. Everyday I have class, three days a week I have two classes back to back. Mostly general requirements, and 1 elective which is my Psychology class. The classes themselves aren't the problem as much as is the labor involved in lugging my heavy bag, back and forth everyday on the subway. I keep telling myself that in a month this trip back and forth will seem like nothing, but I can't help feeling that nagging doubt creep up my spine every time I come home and my body literally collapses in on itself. I know this flare up is a direct result of the stress I put my body through this week, and I'm afraid I'm going to set all my progress back because it's too much for my body to handle.
Plus, if my interview (which has been rescheduled for the 23rd of this month) goes well, I will have a job to go to on top of the other job assisting my uncle with his accounting job, both of which will fill up what remaining time I have left, and will require more lugging around of my heavy ass bag.
So to say the least I'm worried. I wanna believe I can do this, that I can handle it, but I can't help but feel like I might have bitten off more then I can chew.

Not much I can do about it except wait and see...for now I will try to enjoy Superbowl Weekend, cheer for my Giants, and do my best not to kill my uncle or my cousin...lol

(photo by Photobucket, zag7734 and is directly linked)