Sure I had the internal yellathon with my mind to shut up about him, but nothing I did to distract myself worked. I found myself imagining him waiting for me after class in front of my school, looking at every parked motorcycle really hard to see weather it was his, double taking on every tan old school car I saw, or hoping he would be miraculously waiting for me when I got home. I kept seeing things and places that reminded me of him, for instance the places where we would park and listen to music for an hour (besides making out), the coffee shop where we went on our first date, or my stoop where we would talk for hours after he brought me home....and then I realized all these places are right by where I live and I can't get away from them. Almost like he pre-planned for most of our memories to take place in my neighborhood so if we broke up he wouldn't have to deal with them....I know a kinda fucked up thing to imagine, and I know he would't and probably couldn't think that far ahead, but I found it rather unfair that I have to be the one who is constantly reminded of a relationship that didn't work...
So now that I've vented about it I'm taking these thoughts and putting them to the side. I can't live in the past and I have a bright future ahead of me. There are plenty of fish in the sea, especially tall tattooed, bearded fish, and who knows where my next adventure in romance will lead.
I also will begin to focus on blogging about non ex stuff. I was reading my old blogs and I gotta get that flow back...
(Photo above is from an inspiration of mine Seth Casteel who takes amazing photos of animals.)
(Check out his web sight at littlefriendsphoto.com)
No comments:
Post a Comment