My Mother and the REAL Naked Cowboy!

Tuesday, July 6th, 10:16am
(Actual text from my Mother)
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 "A strange thing happened this morning while walking the dog. A man buck naked with a cowboy hat was standing on the edge of the fire escape from the fifth floor apartment on morning side drive. The reason I noticed him was because he was screaming something. Just when I was about to call 911 he went back inside. I later saw him fully dress going into the super market. I saw the hat and I knew it was him. Crazy shit. A New York City moment. Lol.:-)"

Yes...yes indeed it was...
Later that same day when she took the dog out in the evening she called me to tell me he was back.
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"Well...(laughing)Naked Cowboy is back. He standing there yelling again with his pants hanging on the railing"
"(Laughing)Take a picture"
"I can't he went inside"
"Maybe he came out cause he knew you were coming...(laughing)"
"My God I hope not! (laughing) Don't even joke"
"You think he could be yelling at someone on his blue tooth?"
"No... I didn't see a head set, but that doesn't explain why he's naked"
"True... maybe its laundry day? You said his pants are on the railing. Maybe they're drying and he's out of clean clothes..."
"Well...that could be true... but that doesn't explain why he's standing on his fire escape"
"It's like 98 degrees....maybe he doesn't have air conditioning and he's going a little mad from the heat"
pause..........(Loud Laughter) "You know what! Your right! All's he got is a little fan in his window"
"Well then that blows my theory... If he's got a fan he should be standing in front of it"
"Not naked he doesn't...something might get caught"
pause.........(Loud Laughter)................
"All I know is that someone is gonna call the cops cause a family with kids were out here with me this time and I don't think they saw the humor in it"
"Well...if it happens again, take a picture (laughing)"
"Ok...will do"

 (Both photos are thanks to photobucket and directly linked)

Too Short for Fireworks....

Having been scarred by the 4th of July in my long ago youth, I have since always watched the explosive display from the comfort of my own couch, away from the pushing crowds, the defining noise, the smell of burning things and the unavoidable blocked view. But this year for the first time since forever I had plans for the live version of Independence Day.

My aunt who recently moved to lovely Cliffside NJ, has a view of UWS of Manhattan as well as the empire state building. 

Since they moved the fireworks display back to the Huston river, she thought her terrace might afford us a possible view of the festivities and she decided to have the family over for a 4th of July party at her new digs. Unfortunately due to scheduling conflicts and closed roads in the area, most of the gang couldn't make it, except for me and my Mom.

I was in no shape to party thanks to my once a month "happy time", so besides being doubled over in pain I had to restrain myself from stabbing annoying people in the eye sockets. Yet, even in this dangerous condition I had a good time. My aunt and her soon to be new hubby are fantastic hosts and there was never an end to tasty goodies that were being cooked, grilled, shucked, and served to the detriment of my poor diet.

When the time finally came to watch the show, it turned out that it was further downtown then we had anticipated and a big building stood in our way of the rainbow lighted skyline. Luckily, the complex she lives in has their pool right on top of a out cropping cliff face so we all put on our shoes and headed over to see if there was a better view from there. As we left the apartment, we realized we weren't the only ones. We were a part of a mass exodus of people who had all been fingered by the same building obstruction. People leaving there apartments in pajamas, most shoeless, with wine glasses or drinks, and one couple actually brought their dinner plates with them, all of us trying to get to the pool first for a good view.

When we arrived, to the joy of all who ventured out, we were able to see one set of the beautiful display out in the distance. It was beautiful and quite impressive how the technology of the firework has progressed over the years, but I only enjoyed it for a moment because more and more people began to show up. Over and over again, my view was blocked by new heads, until I realized I was surrounded by people and I was seeing a lot of nothing. Once again, I was in a crowd of people towering over me, being pushed and stepped on, and getting nothing out of it but a close view of some guys back hair. So being a responsible citizen because I already wasn't in a good mental place, I gave my mother a kiss on the cheek, and headed back to an empty apartment to watch the final big explosive end on TV.

I was disappointed, but being short is my lot in life. Nobody cares that you can't see or that your even standing there. If your not within a certain perimeter of there eye sight its as if you don't exist. I can't even imagine how it feels to be a dwarf. 

Maybe that's where the legends of angry leprechauns came from. A bunch of fed up little Irish people who had enough of being stepped on, decided to get proactive and fuck with the tallies. 

I can totally dig that...lol


(Photo by dwill77 and Photobucket. Directly linked)

An Old rant that describes me Beautifully...lol

This is an old rant I found in the depths of my phone files that when I read it made me smile. It's a perfect example of me being me...lol
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I may say "Respect" a lot, but I don't think you realize how often you talk about your ex's.
I feel like I'm constantly trying to find a way out from beneath their shadows. I don't know how else to show you that I'm not them. You said yourself that you've never been able to talk to a girl the way you do me and I've already shown you that I don't fly off the handle over stupid shit. So when I ask for a little consideration and "Respect" its cause I deserve it. Since I don't go ape shit over little things, that should tell you that when I say something, there must be a good reason, even if it isn't clear to me in that moment.
That's what I mean when I say I'm an Alpha female.
The Alpha never undermines his mate or her authority amongst the pack. She is his feminine counter part, his missing piece, the one who helps him bring balance and order to the pack.
You've never encountered the likes of me before...

Truly What My Soul Sounds Like....

I would never have thought that one of the most moving moments in my movie watching career would come from a little cult-classic comedy called L.A. Story.
This movie featuring Steve Martin and Victoria Tennant is truly a joy to watch. The dialog is quick and witty, while the script is oddly strange and somewhat fascinating. It made this east coast girl actually like L.A.
But it was the end and the song that still to this day makes the hairs on the back of my head stand up. I can't put into words how it makes me feel except to say that, if my heart, my soul had a soundtrack, this would be it.

LA Story Fog

Broke My Ass Again!!!

But at least this time I was able to get my broken ass off the floor...
Today I did Jillian Michaels for Beginners - Backside DVD.
I know my blood pressure went through the roof again cause once I finished, my head was throbbing, and my face was the color of a ripe tomato, but luckily this time I made sure to pace myself.

After almost killing myself on Thursday with Jillian Michaels for Beginners - Frontside DVD, I had to go to my aunts house for my annual family Birthday weekend get together.
Needless to say, I was a mess.
Everything hurt, I was walking funny, going up and down stairs was a nightmare, and it actually hurt every time I went to sit on the damn toilet bowl. Thank God I can laugh at my pain cause I laughed a lot that weekend.
But so far, his time around, I can sit to pee without wincing.

It might just be that my lower body is stronger then my upper body. After all, it has to lug my Fat Ass around all day long. But since I've been doing all that walking/running on the treadmill, maybe I was more equipped to handle the exercises on this DVD then the Frontside DVD.

Either way I'm making progress...
Today's measurements show that since March I've lost:
3 inches off my waist
3 inches off my hips
1 inch off my bust

But it's not just numbers I'm noticing. My face is loosing it's roundness, the rolls on my back are almost gone, my tummy is getting flatter, my clothes are fitting me differently, and I'm feeling sexy again.
If I keep this up, nothing will be able to stop me from out running my ASS!..:-)

Me As "The Human Floor Rug"...

Have you ever worked out to the point that your muscles turn to jelly, your body shuts down, and you can't get off the floor?.....
Well that's what just happened to me after doing Jillian Michaels for Beginners - Frontside(DVD), which was basically 44 minuets of me kicking my own ass.

I did all 6 circuit training exercises (each circuit consists of 3 exercises done 3 times), with the last exercise being a 30 second plank hold on the floor. .
When I finished, I collapsed onto my stomach, waiting for my heart to re-start and my head to stop pounding. While laying there on the floor, my lovely little invalid of a cat Duke decided to take advantage of my ground level position and use me as a floor rug (evidence on the right).

When I finally realized that I wasn't dead, and that I could in fact get up, my body begged to differ.
My legs and arms were too exhausted to do anything other then flap around like land locked fish, and any attempt I made to move any part of my body (other then my head) off the floor, was met by earths gravitational pull.

I couldn't even roll over onto my back!!
A turtle, stuck on his back, had more of a chance then I did...
And of course, it was this very thought that pushed me over the edge into laughter.

There I was... stuck...on my stomach...a human floor rug for the pets...with no way to get up...laughing like an idiot into the floor boards, and again my thoughts sent me into even more laughter until finally I was laughing hysterically!!...LOL!

Thank GOD I had my cell phone to call in the cavalry, otherwise I might still be there NOW!
Imagine having to call and explain to someone in between bouts of laughter, that your stuck, on you stomach, on the floor, like an infant.
Luckily my savor was close by so I didn't have to wait long. But between my laughter and my useless muscles, getting me off the floor wasn't easy. After taking breaks to allow me to gain some semblance of control, I was rolled, heaved and hoed (not the making money kind) back onto my feet.

Once off the floor though things when from funny to foggy as I got dizzy, sleepy, and felt so cold I was actually shivering. I looked so bad that my rescuer sat me down with a bottle of water and bundled me up with a blanket and a heating pad, but it took awhile before I started to feel normal again.

As of now I can move my limbs, but everything (and I mean everything) is stiff and very achy. I'm walking around like Frankenstein, but at least I'm walking, and though my arms are weak, I can wipe my ass....

My only worry is for tomorrow.
What condition will I be in? and Will I  need a bed pan?...lol

Do I regret doing the whole DVD?
Nope...
For the first time in a Long time, I pushed past all my limits and won.
I wouldn't change that feeling for the world...though tomorrow I might be singing a different tune...lol...;-)

June in Heat!! When the Wolf Takes Over...(family discrestion is advised...lol)

Note to Family:
If you don't want to know about my more intimate life then...STOP READING NOW!!...lol........
why are you still reading...close your browser now and run...run away...run far far away...lol
If your not family or don't care....proceed...;-)
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Do human women go into heat the way animals do??
(Random question...I know but it's relevant...)
I say Yes, because I do...and I am...right now...lol

Every once in awhile I go into a heighten state of arousal, and after charting it through the years, I noticed it happens more often when physically I'm the most fertile....or whatever you want to call it.

It doesn't happen every month (thank GOD) but it does happen.
When it does, besides the obvious arousal, I'm also more sensitive to touch, smell, taste, and I always end up having fun dreams...;-) But I also notice I get more attention from Men during this time too.
Whither they're reacting to my energy, or some body language I don't realize I'm doing, or even if its pheromones, they're reacting alright.
I also notice I'm drawn to some men more then to others. Men I didn't even really notice before, become fascinating to me, while others that I thought were good looking become non entity's.
It's nothing I can quantify, but it's usually followed by a tingling of the skin, a increase in heart rate, and weirdly enough, they always smell good, while the guys that I'm not drawn to smell bad. It isn't related to any body spray, deodorant, or lotion. This has happened with guys who use body sprays, guys who use just soap, or even if there sweaty, there is something in their scent that my brain find pleasing.

Sounds weird, but it's true....

The messed up part about it is....so far... it hasn't happened while I've been with a boyfriend.
As fate would have it, even if I have a someone in my life, it seems to always happen when I can't get to them, or they can't get to me...lol.
Again the universes idea of a bad joke.
Like making it so I can't really drink, because I react too strongly to alcohol, missing the good part, and skipping straight to the part where my head's in the toilet, or smoke pot, because pot turns me into "super paranoia girl".
But in hindsight, I'm grateful it worked out that way, because if I were a skanky ass ho instead of a one man woman, I'm pretty sure I'd have a bunch of kids by now....lol

I just wish I didn't have to suffer through it and could turn it off like a switch...lol
Good part is...my dreams are very clear and are telling me that a very special Man is in my near future...
Who knows what will happen...:-)))

I guess there's more Wolf in me after all...
AOWOOOOOO!!!(Howling)...lol
(and no...to answer your question, masturbation doesn't help. The need is for skin to skin Male attention...lol...;-)