I'm a WHAT!!!!...........

So...here's what happened.

I...as you know am going to a wedding.
The dress I'm wearing is convertible, but in order for me to have the freedom to do things with it I need a strapless bra.

Now...I've always had rather large breasts for most of my life.
They appeared when I was 9. I went from nothing, to a small B in what seemed like over night, and by the time I turned 13 I was officially a large D.
So you can guess that finding good bras were always an issue for me, let alone anything pretty or fancy like a strapless bra. But when having large boobs became culturally popular, I began to hope.

After the age of 13, my boobs continued to grow in size, just more slowly. By the time I was in my 20's I was a DD, and since my weight gain my boobs shot up as far as a DDDD. When I realized I had to find a bra that could hold up a pair of Real DDDD, I almost gave up hope.

Then my mother, through countless hours on the computer, found what is said to be the best strapless bra for the bigger breasted girls. She bought one of herself (being a D) and it was like a miracle. I still doubted that it would work for me, but she insisted we give it a try, especially since I had lost weight.
So she bought me the bra in a 34 DDDD which for this bra company is a 34 G, thinking that if it's too big, we can send it back. We got it on Tuesday and I tried it on yesterday.

It was too SMALL!!

The band was kinda tight which I expected because I'm between a 36 and a 34, but it was the cups that were too small!
I almost passed out....
Aren't breasts supposed to get smaller when you loose weight!! And there was no doubt that I had.
All you have to do is look at my face, but the scale and my pants don't lie either.

I HAD lost weight, but my BOOBS got BIGGER!
I was overflowing my cups, but I shouldn't be overflowing at all...
That means I'm an H....a small H...
Is the weight I'm loosing going to my boobs....
How is this even possible??
The bra has to be defective...
I can't except that I'm a H cup...
I get fuzzy in the head just thinking about it...
or maybe that's the lack of blood in my brain because it's all going to my BOOBS!!!!!!!
Mother Fucker!!!

(Photo by paulthorpe2008, provided by Photobucket, and directly linked)

My Mother and the REAL Naked Cowboy!

Tuesday, July 6th, 10:16am
(Actual text from my Mother)
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 "A strange thing happened this morning while walking the dog. A man buck naked with a cowboy hat was standing on the edge of the fire escape from the fifth floor apartment on morning side drive. The reason I noticed him was because he was screaming something. Just when I was about to call 911 he went back inside. I later saw him fully dress going into the super market. I saw the hat and I knew it was him. Crazy shit. A New York City moment. Lol.:-)"

Yes...yes indeed it was...
Later that same day when she took the dog out in the evening she called me to tell me he was back.
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"Well...(laughing)Naked Cowboy is back. He standing there yelling again with his pants hanging on the railing"
"(Laughing)Take a picture"
"I can't he went inside"
"Maybe he came out cause he knew you were coming...(laughing)"
"My God I hope not! (laughing) Don't even joke"
"You think he could be yelling at someone on his blue tooth?"
"No... I didn't see a head set, but that doesn't explain why he's naked"
"True... maybe its laundry day? You said his pants are on the railing. Maybe they're drying and he's out of clean clothes..."
"Well...that could be true... but that doesn't explain why he's standing on his fire escape"
"It's like 98 degrees....maybe he doesn't have air conditioning and he's going a little mad from the heat"
pause..........(Loud Laughter) "You know what! Your right! All's he got is a little fan in his window"
"Well then that blows my theory... If he's got a fan he should be standing in front of it"
"Not naked he doesn't...something might get caught"
pause.........(Loud Laughter)................
"All I know is that someone is gonna call the cops cause a family with kids were out here with me this time and I don't think they saw the humor in it"
"Well...if it happens again, take a picture (laughing)"
"Ok...will do"

 (Both photos are thanks to photobucket and directly linked)