Some media actually asked the descendants of the Mayans if they were ready for the end of the world and they looked at the guy like he was crazy. One dude even said that us freaking out about it was like "freaking out every year when the calender ends on December 31st. The world doesn't end at the last page of our calender, so why would we think it would end on the Mayans calendar." He was also going to work on Friday just like any day...lol
----------------------------------------------------------
Well here I am again....
It's been so long since I've written just for myself I feel like a foal after being born trying to find her legs. Reconnecting with my inner voice, my writers voice, is proving itself rather tricky especially since I still have that left over stress from finishing my first fall semester.
But that's right Bitches!...I've officially finished my first year of college...What..WHAT!! but I have yet to fully accept it for some reason...
I actually still feel anxious like I have an essay or paper that I forgot to write, or some project I forgot to do so I can't seem to relax. But maybe I just need to get my grades so it can sink in and my sphincter can relax...
Then there's the ex crap.
Yes more ex crap!
Since October I've had a lot of trouble unconsciously thinking about the ex, missing him, worrying about him when Sandy hit, and because of the storm we spoke again. But when you miss someone you always just seem to remember the good times and I had to remind myself it wasn't all "good times". There was a reason I broke up with him and that hadn't changed. So though I was writing poems in my head about how I felt just needing to expel the crap that was clouding my vision and weighing on my chest I couldn't. I was so consumed with school work I barely had time to do that let alone write for my own sanity. It got so bad that it was actually distracting me and I was slipping up with my work load. That was when I gave myself a reality check, put my priorities in order, and really threw myself completely into what was important, my education. I had to remind myself that I've come too far to let anything and I mean ANYTHING stop me from following my path.
He and I were like two puzzle pieces that look like they fit perfectly together, but in fact one piece has a small rough corner while the other has a smooth one. No matter how hard you try to shove those pieces together, pushing and forcing them, they're just not gonna fit. At least not unless you cut one of them, but then if you cut it, what was the point of doing the puzzle in the first place.
But life moves on and I know my life isn't over. In fact I had a very sweet though rather hyper 16 year old competing with this other guy on who was gonna sit next to me in class. Both were complete flirts which I wont lie was rather nice when the last guy you were with made you feel unattractive and it was very sweet in a creepy kinda way considering I'm old enough to be his mother...lol...but it was nice just to know someone was interested. Obviously nothing came of it because I'm not a pedophile, and the other dude was sweet, but not my type so I made sure not to be too friendly with either one and finals came and went without me having to deal with any uncomfortable conversations.
But speaking about dudes flirting with me, there was this one real "winner" in my Biology Lab class who was one of the reasons I started taking kickboxing classes, because I wanted to literally KILL HIM!!!
All I can figure is that he must live in one of those pretty people bubbles believing that because he's good looking all he has to do is flirt with his female classmates and they'll fall all over themselves to basically do his work for him. Well I was his kryptonite because non of his tricks worked on me and his inability with me effected his game with our other remaining female lab partners. If anything the harder he tried with me, the more it just pissed me off. He's one of those assholes who doesn't want to do his work, wants you to tell him the answers cause he doesn't want to think, or will argue with you if you know his answer is wrong and you tell him so. He must be so used to people telling him yes and giving him what he wants that when I first told him no he looked so shocked that I laughed at him.
The last lab we had together we were all using our phones to take pictures of some papers we needed to use to help practice for our final and he made the mistake of telling me to just send him my picture. That was my breaking point. I looked at him and the words just flew out of my mouth.
"Excuse Me!!...You did NOT just tell Me to send you a picture of something that you are fully capable taking yourself." He then said with a smile "Oh you know I don't like taking pictures". To which I responded. "You know...your so full of shit! I don't give a flying rats ass what you "like" to do, you got a cell phone just like the rest of us, you can take your own damn picture! I'm not your Mama!"
Of course he laughed just as assholes do, and my other lab partners who were also fed up with his shit just looked at me with satisfied smiles on there faces. I then spent the rest of the time we had left in class trying to keep myself from leaping across the table like some 70's TV show cop leaping over the hood of a car and punching him the throat.
Ok...that's enough for now...
(photo above The White Wolf Woman by ~dkjart)
